"A Thousand Kisses Deep" (The Guardian 15/06/12)

A Thousand Kisses Deep (15) 82 mins *

A vaguely ambitious but finally suicidal Brit drama, attempting to explore alternative realities on a poverty-row budget. Lovelorn Jodie Whittaker is investigating the death of an old dear in her apartment block when mysterious janitor David Warner invites her into his magic lift – stay with me here – and grants her access to various versions of her past. All realities, alas, lead to Dougray Scott as a possessive jazz trumpeter called Ludwig, whose entrance prompts the film’s already fragile credibility to take a headlong plunge down the nearest rubbish chute. Whittaker, scurrying about like a Lidl Irène Jacob, strives to give it emotional traction, but any flickers of life or promise are soon snuffed out by a combination of ill-defined supporting characters, hurried, desperate action, and Mr. Scott’s unparalleled ability to suck the very light from the screen. Ludwig’s supposedly irresistible jazz trumpet stylings are less Chet Baker, more Cheryl. 

A Thousand Kisses Deep is on selected release.